Two Guys Santa

And the Miracle in Bayonne

The look of disbelief on my 5-year-old face does not do justice to the vast insight that dawned on me that one Christmas back in 1955. Accordingly, the expression of empathy and resignation on my older sister, Anne’s face belies the fact that she knew about Santa yet was determined to play along for her baby brother’s benefit.

Earlier that day, my father, Jerome, drove my sister and me over the Goethals Bridge out to Harrison, New Jersey to do some shopping at a store we frequented called “Two Guys From Harrison,” later shortened to simply “Two Guys.” While my dad steered our honky ‘53 pea green DeSoto into the parking lot, he noticed the giant banner hung across the entrance to the store, “Be Sure To Visit Two Guys Santa!” Never one to miss an opportunity for his children, while perusing the Men’s Department looking for a good price on his double-soled socks, Dad asked my responsible sister to take me to visit “Two Guys Santa” at the rear of the store in a roped off area called “Two Guys’ Santa Land.” It was early enough on a Saturday morning so the line to see Santa was only about 10 kids and their parents ahead of us. While waiting, my sister and I listened to the overhead music being piped through the store: Christmas music with lyrics that had been altered to advertise merchandise. The first song was,

“Dashing Through the Store, on a Two-Guys Discount Day, Dolls and Toys, Galore! Big Savings on the way!”

Which was followed by a strange rendition of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”

“Two Guys has lots of Sales, Dear, Shoes and socks and Mommy’s hose! and if you need a cap gun, yes, indeed, we do have those!’

The heat in the store was stifling, and thankfully, my sister, seeing that I was swaying from side to side, thoughtfully unbuttoned my wool winter coat, allowing me to breathe again. Before long, a strange little man with pointed ears who wore green tights and a red vest that matched his pointed hat walked down the aisle and gave each kid a candy cane from a Safeway shopping bag.

“You’re next!” said a security guard wearing a floppy red felt sleeping cap. “Step this way, to see Santa!” Before we reached Two Guys Santa, sitting inside a tent flanked by giant candy canes, my sister and I saw that he was tugging at the top of his red outfit and wincing. My sister pulled me along until we were right behind a mother and her two little girls. The mother was dressed in a beautiful green coat with large buttons and the little girls were dressed identically in red coats with black piping and matching caps that covered their ears. The mother dabbed some powder onto her nose from a small cloisonné compact, then smiled down at her two charges and spoke to Santa on their behalf.

“Santa. This is Margaret Ellen and Mary Rose, who would each like a Tiny Tears Doll when you get to our house.”